Coaching children in any sport is such an amazing experience and privilege. Being able to help shape these young lives in a positive manner is a powerful thing as well as a major responsibility. Any person who steps up to coach young children is embarking on a journey that will bring great joy, and angst, and will likely consume them far more than they ever imagined. They are hero’s in their own right as they have stepped up!

When I first started coaching I really had no idea what I was getting into. My own children to play soccer so I, like a lot of other moms and dads, decided to be a coach so I could be involved with them. I did not really know what I was doing. It’s kind of like raising kids without a manual. So much of it is trial and error while attempting to incorporate your own style and personality into the coaching. Over the years I definitely got better at it and, like parenting, made a lot of “mistakes”, or as I prefer to say, I had a ton of learning opportunities.

Over the years I have learned a tremendous number of things. In fact I am certain I learned more than the kids I’ve trained.

The number one priority as a coach is to do right by the child.

This can be rather difficult as each child is different in the way they learn, their mentality, disposition, attention span, energy, focus, etc. (you get the point). Sometimes it feels like you’re throwing spaghetti against the wall and seeing what will stick.

Doing right by the child requires us to meet them where they are at,not where we think they are or, more importantly,  where we want them to be. Another key principle is to focus on the child’s needs and not on our desires or goals.

The number one coaching mistake I’ve seen in my years of mentoring & observing Coaches is going into a game, session or individual conversation with expectations beyond the capability of the children. When this happens in a session the coach ends up fighting the exercise and gets more and more frustrated. When it happens in a game the focus shifts from teachable moments to the competition. In all cases we are no longer meeting the child where they are at, much to the detriment of that child.

There are many reasons for this, such as the complexity of the exercise for this age group, physical and/or mental readiness of the child, musculoskeletal limitations and the variety of ways children learn are just a few.

The second biggest mistake I see coaches make is coaching outcomes instead of teaching the child. This severely shortcuts the natural learning process. It is my firm belief this is the primary reason so many kids quit sports when they become teenagers. It is just not fun anymore and they do not feel successful nor do they understand how to be successful.

My goal with this blog is to help Coaches better meet the Children where they are at, fostering more success for the Coach and Child.

A Coaches job is create success and that means we need to focus on the time(s) they get it right and then build on that. A focus on results, even just focusing on where the ball they are kicking (or throwing, or whatever) goes, instead of the proper technique, is detrimental to the natural learning process. What we should be focusing on is helping the child work through the natural learning process by enabling and celebrating improvements irrespective of the outcome. Catch the child doing it correct ONCE, ideally the first time they do it, and celebrate that. Then ask them to do it twice, and so on.

This is certainly more work for the coach and, no, it is not easy. However, if a coach can separate the outcome from the learning process, the rewards for the child and the coach are tremendous! When the child knows that you know they can do it and that you are there to help by finding the “trick” or key for that specific child to be successful, there is no ceiling to what that child can achieve.

Nothing brings me more joy as a coach than seeing a child’s face light up when they figure out a challenging move or trick on the soccer pitch. This is especially true for those who may not be athletically gifted or naturally coordinated. Show them that persistence and relentlessly positive coaching can help them achieve things they never thought possible.

By focusing on meeting the child where they are at and staying away from outcomes I guarantee you will find your success rates improved 3 to 4 fold if not more!

Thank you for being a coach! There is nothing more rewarding or powerful as being a coach for Children. 

Keeper Jim